The Italian Word for Kisses Read online

  “I’m definitely not hooking up with you.”

  “You’re not listening,” Aaron whined, and Luca shoved him for the display of pissy bitchface. “I have to kiss a boy and quite frankly, I don’t really care if anyone sees me kissing a bloke, you know? It’s just a play and if anyone thinks I’m queer for it, fuck ‘em. But the other guys at drama don’t think that way. They don’t want to get up on stage and be seen to plant one on another guy, so…I figured I could ask you.”

  Luca felt his surprise soften a little around the edges. This was why Aaron was a mate, even though they only had swimming in common anymore. He was just…nice. He didn’t give a shit about other people being queer or foreign or whatever. In those first few horrible weeks after coming out, he’d been the only reason Luca could face swimming club at all. Aaron hadn’t joined in with the name-calling and the side-eye looks. Aaron had never cared, and…

  “What kind of a kiss?”

  …Luca owed him for that.

  “Is that a yes?” Aaron asked hopefully.

  “Depends on the kind of kiss,” Luca said, and they fell back into step. “I mean, you know, I’m not making out with you. That’d be too weird.”

  Aaron laughed. “And Tav’d kill me.”

  “Probably,” Luca agreed. “Or I could kiss Emily after, then you’d be even.”

  “How about no,” Aaron said amiably.

  “Dunno, she’s fit. Could be nice.”

  “You stay away from my girlfriend.”

  “In case what? We swap nail polish?”

  Aaron sniggered and Luca grinned.

  “Show me this script, tell me how much macking is involved, and maybe I’ll do it,” he said finally. “I mean, you know, presuming it’s not making out and Tav doesn’t have a heart attack at the idea or whatever. I’m not having big jealous fights for your play.”

  Aaron snorted. “Fair enough.”

  “So?” Luca prompted. “How much kissing?”

  “Just the one,” Aaron said. “But it’s, um…look, the play’s about kissing.”

  “Kind of a play is this?”

  “Shut up,” Aaron grumbled. “Lizzie chose it. It’s…you know, it’s good, I have the lead and it’s a good character for testing skills, like…it’s just this bit.”

  “The kissing a boy bit? Cheers…”

  “The kissing in general bit. I have to kiss Rachel Newman in the year below, too.”

  “What, pretty Rachel?”

  “Yeah. Fucking terrified of embarrassing myself.”

  Luca sniggered. “No danger of that with me, at least. Not like that anyhow.” Aaron’s snort was derisive. “Oi! You never know, mate. Might discover you’re actually gayer than a One Direction dance routine.”

  “Do they even have dance routines?”

  “How the hell would I know?”

  “You’re gay!”

  “Yeah, gay, not a twelve-year-old girl,” Luca complained. “Fine, gayer than manbags. Happy now?”

  “Not really,” Aaron said, holding the door of the community centre. “Ladies first.” Luca shoved him. “Ow! And I have a manbag.”

  “Oh my God, maybe you secretly are gay.”

  “Don’t think so.”

  “Bisexual?”

  “Nah.”

  “Itty-bitty bit bisexual?”

  “Not unless you’re sporting a fantastic pair of tits under your blazer.”

  Luca sniggered. “Any time you feel like finding out, feel free to grope.”

  “Noted,” Aaron said with a smirk as they wandered into the hall. It was mostly empty, but Aaron nodded to the few people around, and parked Luca on the edge of the stage before vanishing into the kitchen area. Luca half-listened to him asking someone—Jenny or Penny or whatever—for a copy of the script. Typical Az, man. Ask a favour, and don’t have the things required to get the favour.

  Luca pulled his legs up to sit all yoga-like on the boards, and dug out his phone. At the comm centre w/ Aaron come find me wen ur done running in circles!!! He deliberately left off any kisses. Then Tav would bitch, and Luca would have a good excuse to steal him this evening and stash him somewhere for a bit of proper groping. None of this straight-boys-on-stage groping.

  “Here.” A handful of stapled pages landed on his legs. “Basically, it’s a mash-up of that whole fairy tale thing where you break a curse by kissing your one true love.”

  “I take it back,” Luca said. “You’re gayer than every guy who has ever been on that X-Factor thing.”

  “‘That X-Factor thing.’ You sound about a hundred.”

  “Better than closeted!”

  “Oh shove it,” Aaron grumbled. “Basically I have to kiss practically every female character except my character’s best friend. And she’s―”

  “―the one true love,” Luca guessed. “Boring.”

  “And someone suggests I’m looking in the wrong place so then you kiss me to see if I should be trying all the guys.”

  “More like it. Which page? I’m not reading all of this, it sounds shit.”

  “Thirteen. So it’s just the one, but you’ve got to be…you know. Pretty…enthusiastic.”

  “Enthusiastic?”

  “Er.” Aaron was going an odd shade of pink. “Like…really plant one on me. You know. Um. Forward. And a bit grabby.”

  “I have to grab you and kiss the life out of you?”

  “Basically.” Pink had become red.

  Luca found the relevant page, and eyed it. Blah, blah, blah. Some sappy crap about true love and looking in the wrong places, and—

  “Richard?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Your character is called Richard?” Luca repeated incredulously. “Oh my God, that’s incredible. You’re asking me to kiss Dick!”

  Red became purple, and Luca was laughing too hard to care that the shove to his shoulder was unnecessarily hard. Fucking hell, that was beautiful. Absolutely fucking mental—no wonder none of the other lads wanted in on this action!

  “You’re a twat.”

  “Guilty as charged,” Luca sniggered, and flipped the script back in Aaron’s direction. “Okay, that doesn’t look too bad. As long as Tav doesn’t go berserk, and long as it doesn’t fuck up my swimming, I’m in.”

  The purple flooded away in the wake of Aaron’s broad grin. “I fucking owe you.”

  “Yeah, you do. Dick.”

  “Shut up!”

  Luca grinned and rolled onto his front to sprawl out. “C’mon, then,” he said. “I told Tav to meet me here, so—as it’s warm and I can’t be fucked to do my homework—read me this stupid play about snogging.”

  * * * *

  The outer door banged.

  The read-through had turned into general mockery and chat—Luca found far too much amusement in Aaron’s girlfriend issues—and it had naturally coursed back around to Tav and how likely he was-or-was-not to punch Aaron in the face when Aaron did the deed and kissed Luca. Luca voted not very likely. Aaron voted he’d need cosmetic surgery. Luca had said he needed it anyway, so when the door banged, they were scuffling on the stage.

  “Speak of the devil,” Luca said dryly, peeling Aaron off him, then the inner door rattled and popped open, and Tav appeared. And only Tav could pull off trainers, blue football shorts, and a heavy black hoodie. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” Mud was streaked up Tav’s knees, and his hair was ruffled by the wind outside. He was flushed, and the reddened effect of his face made his hair look ginger in the halogen glare of the community centre lights. This was how Luca knew he was in love. Tav wasn’t the most good-looking guy in the world, not even close. And yet the sight of him with muddy legs and a too-large hoodie made Luca’s heart squeeze in his chest.

  “This a rehearsal or something?” Tav asked, pulling himself up onto the stage to sit cross-legged with them. “Just the two of you? Seems a bit far to come for a chat.”

  “I want to borrow your boyfriend,” Aaron said, flipping the script in Tav’s directio
n. Luca sniggered as Tav flipped it right back.

  “For what? He’s kind of useless.”

  “Hey!”

  “What?” Tav protested, then that crooked grin creased his narrow face. “What’s this borrowing, then? Do I get rent money?”

  Luca wrinkled his nose and shoved him until Tav sprawled sideways on the boards and started sniggering. “You’re an arse.”

  “Come on, man, I’ve known you guys since primary school, I don’t get mate’s rates?” Aaron demanded.

  “Fuck off, both of you,” Luca complained, and folded his arms. “You can sod your play if you’re going to pass me around like a sex toy.”

  “Whoa, what, sex toy? Play?”

  Aaron started laughing. Luca pushed Tav’s leg with his foot, experimentally trying to shove him off the edge of the stage, but only got his ankle slapped for his troubles.

  “Aaron’s trying to hire me for a snog.”

  “Ri-ight,” Tav drawled. The little crease between his eyebrows had shown itself. “Um…what?”

  Aaron smirked. “The play I’m in, for Easter?” He pushed the script back towards Tav. “I have to kiss a boy, and none of the guys in the drama group are comfortable with that. So I’m trying to talk Luca into it.”

  Tav blinked. He did this thing where when he was trying to work shit out, he went really still and quiet. Kinda like a bird. A five foot ten bird in football shorts, but whatever. And then—“Why him?”

  “‘Cause I’m fitter than you?” Luca suggested, and got a shove. “Oi! Twat off!”

  “You are so not.”

  “I so am.”

  “Because,” Aaron said loudly, shoving both of them, “I’ve known Luca longer and—no offence, Tav—I can get away with it with him. You’re all serious and shit, Tav. Luca’s a nutter and nobody’s gonna get weird with me if he jumps me.”

  Tav shuffled a little sideways, and Luca felt a hand shift around his hips to rest on the floor on his other side. A hug-that-wasn’t. “I’m happy to do it,” Luca said, shrugging. “I have to just show up in crowd scenes and shit for ages, grab Aaron and eat his face, then I can go home.”

  “This is the weirdest play I’ve ever heard of,” Tav complained, and his head dropped heavily against Luca’s shoulder. Luca scrunched his neck and tipped his face to press his cheek to that fine hair. “You gonna do it, then, Luc?”

  “Sure,” Luca said. “Unless you’re a shitty kisser, Az, then you can piss off.”

  “Em says I’m good,” Aaron retorted, offering a wounded look, and Luca snorted.

  “She would, she has to put up with your bitching.”

  “Look who’s talking, you poufter!”

  “I hate to break up this love-fest,” Tav drawled, “but I have to be home by six before my parents go out to Amy’s recital.”

  “Don’t let me stop you,” Aaron said, and grinned. “Go on, fuck off, both of you, I have to get over to Emily’s in half an hour anyway. You in, Luca?”

  “Yeah, I’m in,” Luca said. Tav’s arm squeezed around his hips, then the weight and warmth vanished and Tav jumped down from the stage.

  “C’mon.”

  “Why don’t you get a lead, just drag me around?” Luca half-complained, stealing Aaron’s script and stuffing it in his bag.

  “It’s an idea.” Tav then offered him that wry smirk as they passed out of the community centre. It was freezing outside, and Tav didn’t help when he slid his fingers through Luca’s before Luca could find his gloves.

  “It’s too cold.”

  “So steal my hand heat, seriously,” Tav sniped, squeezing Luca’s hand tight. Luca huffed and started to swing it lightly. “I might have to come and watch this play, you know. You snogging Aaron. That’s fucking mental.”

  Luca had to admit—somewhere, right down deep in the middle of his brain, there was a tiny bit of curiosity and excitement. His first kiss ever had been with Tav, when they were barely-fourteen. He’d never kissed anybody else. So yeah—a very tiny part of Luca was curious.

  And because he and Tav had been in each other’s pockets for a good year before their first kiss and they’d started dating, Luca just out and said it.

  “I better hope he’s crap at kissing then,” Tav said mildly.

  “If he’s good, can I find out if you fuck like other people, or if―”

  “Nope.”

  “Shame,” Luca said, and Tav sniggered.

  “As if.” He rubbed his thumb over Luca’s knuckles as they turned into their street. “Come over? Mam and Ian are going to Amy’s recital and Mam said we can order pizza on her card.”

  “Cool. D’you reckon Aaron’s girlfriend’ll mind?”

  “Do you reckon he’s told her yet?” Tav parried, finally letting go of Luca’s hand to rummage in his bag for his house keys. Luca stuck his hand in his pocket. Fucking cold, man. Tav was a sadist.

  “I don’t want to know if he hasn’t, you know how Emily can go off. Hi, Mrs. Pretty!” Luca added in a yell as Tav let them in.

  “Laura, you daft boy!” came the predictable response. “Tav, run upstairs and check Becky’s ready to go!”

  Tav grumbled; Luca seized him by the collar from the first step and jerked him down into a sharp, familiar kiss. Because, you know. He was curious about kissing Aaron, and a tiny part of him was keen to try it out, but he already knew there were no kisses like Tav’s kisses. Not really.

  Chapter 6: “And queer, seriously? Use your fucking imagination.”

  The cold turned colder overnight, and when Tav opened the front door, Luca was grinning over the top of an absurdly fluffy scarf.

  “Scarf’s shit,” Tav said, “but your face looks better.”

  Luca rolled his eyes, but it was true. The savage black bruising had finally eased and mottled, and was now just a shadow across the side of his face. He didn’t look hurt anymore, and Tav liked it.

  “What? It’s a shitty scarf.” It was knobbly and purple. It looked like something off Sesame Street had been skinned.

  “You’re a nerk.”

  “A what?”

  “A toerag. A nuffle-bag. A twat-monster.”

  “What crazy pills are you on this morning?” Tav asked doubtfully, and Luca sniggered, holding out a gloved hand.

  “C’mon.”

  Tav hefted his bag off the bottom step and stepped out with Luca. Luca was in one of his cheerful moods, and it was infectious. Tav took no persuading in sliding their fingers together and swinging their joined hands lightly as they headed down the road. “What’s got you happy?”

  “Spent all night dreaming about hooking up with Aaron.”

  Tav snorted. “Pull the other one.”

  Luca smirked. “I’ll talk you around. S’not fair I’ve only slept with you. I need to experiment!”

  “You can if I can.”

  “No chance.”

  “Then no deal.”

  Luca huffed. “You’re mean.”

  “Yeah, well.”

  “Guess what.”

  Tav rolled his eyes, used to Luca’s rapid changes of subject. “What?”

  “Hospital today.”

  Tav’s foot skidded on the damp ground, and Luca laughed, hauling on Tav’s hand as a counterweight. “Careful!”

  “What for?”

  “Last appointment,” Luca said. “Another chest x-ray, a brain scan, and then I find out if I’m going to be set free, or put down like a sick dog.”

  “Oh, shut up.”

  “It’s a good thing!” Luca insisted. He was still beaming, his eyes like black holes in the cold air. “I’ll be cleared to swim again. Mamma will stop fussing over me at breakfast.” The beam slid sideways into a smirk. “Can get some exercise again, too.”

  “Oh aye?”

  “Uh-huh. Aerobic exercise. F’you know what I mean.”

  “Didn’t think you were into Pilates.”

  Luca shoved him and Tav fell sideways, cackling. “Twat.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Tav said. They
were almost at the top of the hill now, and he bumped Luca’s shoulder with his own. “Be nice, though. I’ve missed you.”

  “Not gone anywhere.”

  “Nah, not like that. Missed you. You know. What you don’t get out in public.”

  “S’illegal.”

  They sniggered like twelve-year-olds, Tav raising a hand even as he smirked to Daniel, perched on the school perimeter fence.

  “Plus nobody else wants to see that.”

  “You never know.”

  “See what?” Daniel asked as he dropped down to join them, and Luca’s grin was so wide that his dimples reappeared. He’d almost lost them thanks to the high, wide cheekbones adulthood was giving him, and the sight of them made Tav’s stomach jolt.

  “Nothing,” Luca said, and grinned wider.

  “Right,” Daniel said, shifting slightly. Daniel O’Driscoll was from that sort of old-fashioned boring family. Matching white rugs in every room and a neurotic mam who hoovered twice a day. He was pretty cool, but he could get weird about shit sometimes. Like any dirty joke Luca ever made. Like they were specially-designed dirty gay jokes or something.

  Still, he was mad good on the football field, and secretly shared Tav’s love of reading, so Tav forgave Daniel more uncomfortable pauses than he did the other lads. Rather than get annoyed, Tav simply—and casually—put a little distance between himself and Luca, and asked Daniel what was up.

  “Jus’ waiting,” Daniel shrugged. “Jan’s buggered off to make a pass at Phoebe Flahive for the millionth time.”

  “So what’s new? Jan’s―”

  “I’m bloody sick of it,” Daniel groused, falling into step with them as they wandered into the school. It was hot inside, and Luca started unwinding the hideous scarf. “All this fucking hooking up all over the shop—it’s stupid. It’s not like it’ll kill you to be fucking single.”

  Tav said nothing. Luca, who had little to no interest in playing nice with Daniel or Jan—and in fact actively disliked Jan—smirked. “Hayley dumped you again?”

  Daniel reddened. “Yeah, well, fuck her.”